Haunting Memories
by Anakin Amidala
Summary: MY FIRST FAN FIC. Vader's thoughts dwell on Padme before the attack on the Rebels in ESB. R/R, please.


  
**Haunting Memories**

by Anakin Amidala

DEDICATED TO: All who believe in free expression, Amethyst Crow and Haley J. the Bat who sparked my interest in fiction (wink, wink) and my friend Mark, who I hope reads this.

**THIS IS MY FIRST FIC EVER!!  Thank you, thank you.  Now let's get on with it.  I am aware that this has been done before, but I felt I needed to write it.  The PG-13 rating is because of a brief moment where Vader remembers…well, just read it**

          Darth Vader sat in his meditation chamber aboard the _Executor_, pensively attempting to lose himself in a trance.  It wasn't working.

He sighed.  His master, Emperor Palpatine, was demanding that he tracked down the Rebellion's secret base.  Vader had sent fleets of probe droids across the galaxy, and had found what he was looking for on a remote ice planet called Hoth.

Palpatine had wanted his dark servant to bring him one of the Rebels personally.  It wasn't Captain Han Solo, or Princess Leia Organa, though Vader had a feeling Palpatine would eventually want her as well.  No, it was someone else.  Someone Vader knew.

Attempting to begin another trance, Vader let him mind dwell on his mission.  Luke Skywalker.  So, Anakin had a son.  Did Skywalker know that Vader was…no, had been…his father?

Vader managed a sarcastic smirk.  No, Padmé never would have told Luke the rather disturbing truth.

_Padmé_…the name haunted Vader's mind.

_"Stop it," _he told himself, "_you don't need her anymore.  Anakin needed her, and look where it got him."_

However, despite Vader's most powerful attempts to dissuade himself from remembering her, he found her invading his thoughts, tugging at his soul.  "_Just like the first time I met her…"_

His mind roughly yanked him back through time, to when he was nine, a mere slave boy on Tatooine.  He'd been toiling in the shop for hours, scrubbing the fan switches and assembling droid parts in the back.  He'd come in on his master Watto's command, and had been told to watch the shop.  However, he'd firmly decided to watch the customers, who seemed somehow…out of place.  One of the customers particularly caught his eye.

"Are you an angel?" he'd found himself asking, subject to his youthful curiosity.

The girl had smiled, which had made Anakin's whole world stop.

"What?" she replied with a bit of a giggle.

Anakin hadn't supposed she didn't know what angels were.  He found that hard to believe, since she fit the definition perfectly.

"An angel.  I hear the deep space pilots talking about them.  They live on the moons of Ieago, I think.  They're the most beautiful creatures in the Universe."

Vader's raspy breathing brought him careening back to reality.  "_Angels.  What a stupid notion._" But despite his dismissal of the idea, a part of him still wanted to believe in angels.  Beautiful angels.

His mind wandered once more to their peaceful wedding on Naboo, and the not-so-peaceful consummation afterwards.  Try as he might, he couldn't force the thoughts out of his mind.  He remembered the feeling of ecstasy between them both during their lovemaking, and the surge in the Force he'd felt afterwards.  Being intimate with Padmé had sparked his connection to the Force in a way he'd never felt before.

_"Stop torturing yourself, Skywalker,_" he reprimanded himself.  _"Would she want Anakin like this?  A twisted, broken Dark Lord, bound in the chains that keep him alive?  She's dead now anyway, Skywalker, her soul consumed by the evil lightning your master commanded, and you serve."_

Suddenly, Vader felt a presence approaching him. He mentally threw a switch to bring his vital breathing mask back down upon his head, for he could only breath without it in his special meditation chambers.

"Yes, Captain, what is it?" the Dark Lord asked the rather nervous officer.

"M'lord, we have arrived at Hoth.  Scanners show there is a shield strong enough to deflect any bombardment." the officer reported nervously.

"The Rebels are alerted to our presence.  Admiral Ozzel came out of hyperspeed too close to the system."

"He felt surprise was wiser than- -" the officer began.

"He is as clumsy as he is stupid.  Prepare your troops for a surface attack." Vader interrupted.

"Yes, m'lord." The officer walked away briskly, happy to have survived a brush with Vader.

The black figure, still sitting in meditating position, turned to face the screen, and switched it onto the bridge communicator.

"M' lord!," Ozzel greeted warmly.  "We have…"

"You've failed me for the last time, Admiral." Vader growled, making an ominous gesture with his gloved hand, clenching it tight.  The officer began to gasp, and cough, and slowly sank to the floor.

"You are in command now, _Admiral _Piett." Vader emphasized.

"Yes, Lord Vader," the admiral acknowledged, trying very hard to not focus on the twitching figure laying on the floor.

Vader angrily shut off the comlink.  The battle would be soon, and would be on the ground.  The Dark Lord nodded, confident his forces were strong enough to win.  However, he couldn't shake the feeling that Padmé was still in his soul, tormenting him.

~*END*~


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